Tuesday, March 04, 2014

Things I've Learnt About Awards Season

Now that Awards Season 2014 has finally wrapped up, we can look back and discuss the valuable lessons we have learnt from this glitzy Hollywood charade.

Things I've Learnt About Awards Season

1. We know that top designers lend dresses throughout Awards Season to all the actors and actresses. But what happens to all these fabulous dresses once they have been worn? Obviously, no other famous person will wear the same dress twice. I think they need to make a Fashion Blogger Donation Box and dump all those designer dresses in there. 

2. A guaranteed way to win a Best Actress/Actor Award is to look your absolute worst, act mentally deranged or gain/lose enough weight, so much so, that people begin thinking you have an actual illness.

3. Do celebrities get tired of being asked the exact same questions by the (exact same) tv hosts at every single awards show? 

4. Isn't it funny how the ERed Carpet team gush over every actresses outfit when they interview them live and tell them how much they love their look, but then go (not so behind their back) on The Fashion Police and trash them to pieces over the exact same dress. #TwoFaced

5. It baffles me that celebrities have access to the best stylists and designers, but yet some of them still manage to look like they have worn a scrap of un-ironed fabric that's been stuck together with staples.

6. Another thing, the designer has been kind enough to lend you the dress, so be courteous enough to at least remember their name when asked on the red carpet.

7. Stars always get their hair done by an expert hairdresser, but some of them appear on the red carpet with hair that looks like it's building it's own nest or hasn't been brushed in a week.

8. Stars spend hours having their makeup done only to look like they have on no makeup at all

9. The Oscars Swag Bag this year was filled to the brim with $85 000 worth of fabulous goodies including a Swiss watch, spa home system, a tour to Japan, a holiday in Hawaii and Mexico, a trip to Las Vegas for anyone wanting to reenact The Hangover and a train ride to the Canadian Rockies. Strangely enough there was also some horse shampoo thrown in. Seriously? All the nominees can obviously afford this lap of luxury...why are they getting it all for free?

10. The critics who vote on these awards shows would have to watch each season of all the nominated TV series (dramas and comedies), view every single movie and made-for-tv-movie (more than once) and listen to every album that's up for an award. Who has that much free time on their hands? Is that all they do the entire year?

11. Men can wear the same classic black tuxedo to every single awards show, year after year and no one will know any better.

12. Celebrities, please secure yourselves in all the right places because there are cameras EVERYwhere on the red carpet targeting every single angle you own.

13. Every nude shaded and sequined dress is starting to look the same to me.

Elie Saab Red Carpet Dresses

14. If you don't want to be on any Worst Dressed Lists just wear a plain black dress or anything by Elie Saab. Or a plain black dress by Elie Saab. It's always the safest option.

15. But if you want to be at the top of any Worst Dressed Lists, just get your styling advice from Ke$ha, Jessie J, Nicki Minaj or Lady Gaga.

16. Someone needs to stop inviting Miley Cyrus to these high society events. Either that or at least lend her some clothes. Actual clothes and not shreds of a fishnet stocking or teddy bear.

17. It's really unfair when the Award winners are announced and the camera immediately flashes to all the nominees that didn't win, to capture the image of disappointment/envy/fury on their faces. That's just mean.

18. Someone please give Amy Adams and Leo DiCaprio an Oscar, they have each been nominated 5 times before, and all under the age of 40. I think that's impressive enough to snag an honorary win.

19. I find it a little confusing that celebrities (like Leo, Bradley, JLaw) don't walk the red carpet with their significant others to avoid the gossip mills but then sit right next to them in plain view of the entire world during the awards show. We can see you, you know.

20. And finally, now that Awards Season is officially over, will someone please feed these skinny celebs loads of ice cream, hamburgers and fries. They deserve it.

What have you learnt this Awards Season? I'd love to hear your additions to this list.

*Images via eonline, People Magazine