Thursday, July 14, 2011

Coffee-holics Anonymous

I can barely function past 10am without a few cups of coffee. Coffee was discovered so that people like me can wake up early in the morning without harming or injuring others (and ourselves). I didn't consider myself as a coffee-addict until I 'tried' to cut down my intake. This didn't work out well, just ask all the friends and family I terrorized during my caffiene-deprived state. 

The longest I've been without coffee is two days, I couldn't make it any further...the anxiety and neurosis set in and I had horrifying hallucinations that all the world's coffee trees were extinct. Then there was the falling asleep at random times during the day; like during a work presentation, which I was giving. So I decided not to put myself in such jeopardy again and refueled on my life's elixir.

If you're wondering whether you're also a coffee-holic, here are a few signs that I have found to help you find out. 

Signs That You're a Coffee-holic
  • You can jumpstart your car without cables.
  • You watch DVD's in fast forward.
  • You never speak in complete sentences.
  • You can type 80 words per minute with a coffee cup in one hand.
  • Your doctor needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
  • You speak so fast, even 'The Chipmunks' don't understand what you're saying.
  • You walk 5km on the treadmill before realizing it's not on.
  • One shot of expresso and other people get dizzy watching you.
  • When you call into radio stations, the presenter asks you to turn yourself down.
  • Nescafe has named a blend after you.
  • Your personal first aid kit contains two liters of coffee and an I.V hookup.
  • You answer the door before people knock.
  • You think CPR stands for 'Coffee Provides Resuscitation'.
  • You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
  • You're so wired, you pick up 5FM.
  • At your local cafe, your coffee is made before you even order.
  • The only reason you go to sleep is so that you can wake up to the smell of coffee.
  • You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked. 
  • Your birthday is a national holiday in Columbia.
  • Walking makes you nervous. Sleeping makes you nervous. Actually, everything makes you nervous.
  • You drink decaf by accident and slip into a coma.
  • Your coffee pot is next to your bed and your alarm clock is in the kitchen.

They say that sleep is sign of coffee depravation, which means I need to go make myself another cup...Ciao for now ;)

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